Deck the Halls With Mistletoe, Let All Your Heavy Burdens Go

So each year as I get older, I've been finding myself increasingly irritated with Christmas. Honestly, I think that the biggest problem is my lack of ability to be excited about the whole thing. I used to spend weeks at a time with my friends hunting in our houses for our Christmas presents; trying to discover what they were. My mom just waves it infront of my face now. stop it mom. I wanna be surprised.
This has also been my first Christmas season away from my house. I got here on the 22nd, in the evening, and by that time Christmas was essentially over already. I realized the only time I'd even heard Christmas music was on commercials on the TV or when I was in the mall. Haha.
After the generalized family festivities on Christmas Eve, I spent the rest of the night on the roof of my old school. We watched the fog creep in around us and the lights from across the way that we could see when we first got there just kinda disappeared. We also found a blood-encrusted handprint on the wall? Awesome. Also, I have zero circulation in my body, just so you all know. And sometimes my ipod fights with me.
But all in all, what I'm trying to say is I guess that Christmas is what you make it.
So, Merry Christmas, here's to many more.
PS: I can't believe your engaged Stephanie Carlisle. Can't believe it. Can't. hahahaha I feel like we're still 16.

I made it through the year and I did not even collapse
Gotta say, "Thank God, for that"
I'm torn between what keeps me whole and what tears me in half
I'll fall apart or stay intact

With tired eyes I stumble back to bed
I need to realize my sorry life's not hanging by a thread
At least not yet

So look at me now
Its finally Christmas and I'm home
Head indoors, to get out of this weather
And I don't know how
But the closest friends I've ever known are all inside
Singing together
Singing merry Christmas, here's to many more

It always hurt to be all by myself this time of year
A cold and lonely Christmas eve
And living out my days alone
Well that had been my deepest fear
But you promised you won't leave 

I look towards the east and see a star
Jesus Christ, it's blessed my life to know just who you are
You are my hope

So look at me now
Its finally Christmas and I'm home
Head indoors, to get out of this weather
And I don't know how
But the closest friends I've ever known are all inside
Singing together
Singing merry Christmas, here's to many more 

Deck the halls with mistletoe
May all your heavy burdens go
Up the chimney in a cloud of smoke
The fire's burning bright
Strike up the band and play the tune
Cause Christmas will be here and soon
You'll hear our song in every room
This merry Christmas night 

Singing Merry Christmas, here's to many more

We Sleep Inside of This Machine

I didn't pick this song because I'm trying to offend anyone this Christmas Season. In reality, it's just a really good song. It's kinda been playing in my head for a couple days 'cause I was talking to one of my friends about it. The first time I ever sang this song around my house my mother almost shanked me with a butcher knife. Given, I was singing it under my breath and it probably just sounded like I was in the mood to be excessively offensive or something, but that wasn't the purpose at all. However, to be clear, this is not swearing.
Actually, this song is something of a letter to Jesus. I think every person in the world could relate to this song, if they took the time to listen to it instead of become instantly offended. We all know of the hymns that we sing in church on sunday, but they're all hopeful and praising. This song is a plea to Jesus without the hope and understanding. It's forlorn and confused, and gorgeous.
Everybody has days when they don't see the silver lining of every cloud. Everyone has days when their light is too slight to hold back all their dark. It'd be kinda ridiculous if we could all sing amazing grace everyday. I just think it's pretty neat that this writer was willing to go there. When so many people are just afraid of offending people by doing this exact thing.
I think some days people just feel bad. It happens to everyone. Everyone feels guilty for things that they've done and people that they've hurt. It's just particularly hard when you know you're screwing up and you still do it (this ship went down in sight of land).
In reality, I think we're all a little bit scared we'll get scared.
The goal, I suppose, is to put down the wood and nails. To not take up residence with the lifestyles of the people who (in essence) nailed Jesus to the cross.
The machine, to me represents the reality that we all live in. Sometimes we forget the need for anything but ourselves, and when you sleep inside of the machine, it just means that you don't even come out to go to bed. You have to step out of your little world, and recognize the big picture.
Don't sleep inside of the machine.

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face

The kind you'd find on someone that could save

If they don't put me away

It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?

That everything good is happening somewhere else

But with nobody in your bed

The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone

And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again

So what did you do those three days you were dead?

Because this problem's gonna last

More than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die

I’m a little bit scared of what comes after

Do I get the gold chariot

Do I float through the ceiling

Do I divide and fall apart

Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark

This ship went down in sight of land

And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief

But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique

I know you think that I’m someone you can trust

But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up

(everyone now)

So do you think that we could work out a sign

So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you'll come for the people like me

But we all got wood and nails,

And we turn out hate in factories

But, we all got wood and nails

And we turn out hate in factories

Yeah, we all got wood and nails

And we sleep inside of this machine

100 Things I've Learned

It's no secret that there will always be a hole in my heart that bleeds for you and you alone, Emmalynn. You were the first girl I've ever felt such a legitimate connection with, and the last one since. You're my soul sister. I hate the way that things went down with us. I great really irriatated looking back and how ridiculous I was being. The bottom line though, is that we were way too close to be able to make it as best friends and have boyfriends. Now looking back, it appears we may have made the wrong decision, seeing as we were both dating total douchers at the time, but I highly doubt we'd be the people we were today without said douchers.

The following is a list of 100 things I never would have learned without you. I could make a list of 1000, but my fingers already hurt...so don't push it. haha


1: She reads.
2: When she really likes pictures that you draw of the both of you, she'll frame them and post them on her wall.
3: Secret bridges are good thinking places.
4: You can never have too much brownie batter.
5: It's okay to never get dressed.
6: Never underestimate the power of Guitar Hero
7: You will never beat Emma at Guitar Hero.
8: Getting stuck underneath a mattress is probably one of the funniest things that can happen to a person. probably
9: Sleeping in the same bed as your best friend twice a week is awesome.
10: Working for your best friends mom so that you can spend it all at hollister isn't a choice, it's a lifestyle.
11: Hollister ♥ clothes. smell. awesome.
12: Revamping eachothers myspaces in the wee hours of the morn = yes.
13: The wee hours of the morn.
14: Dye your best friends hair as often as you can. You'll miss it.
15: Sometimes you just have to order pizza.
16: By sometimes, I mean almost everyday.
17: Never underestimate the healing power of a conversation in a hot tub on a fridged January night.
18: Fridged.
19: There is no shame in adopting your best friend's mom's old bikini.
20: No...there is some shame.
21: Jace has a whore in his pants.
22: Gossip Girl is a weekly religious ceremony conducted in emma's room.
23: If we were a movie, we'd be secondhand lions. I'd be the angry one who likes to shoot fish.
24: I'd also be the one who flies the plane into the building when it's time to go. Emma would be the one who's just along for the ride, because we love eachother.
25: if love is an ocean wide, we'll swim in the tears we cried. we'll see it through to the other side. we're gonna make it.
26: Lobsters scream when you boil them.
27: Make out closets are imparative. Even if you don't make out in them.
28: Don't pick your arms.
29: Brownie Batter Ice Cream will make it go away.
30: If it doesn't, just come watch a movie.
31: When someone really loves, you, they'll donate their hollister bags for the transportation of your numerous items.
32: Nobody can lie together the way that Emma and McCall lie. Nobody
33: Sometimes its offensive to hold your best friends dog to the light.
34: There's always a song to describe how you feel.
35: There's always one line in the song that doesn't fit; thats always the one that we'll pay the most attention to.
36: Jacking recklessly expensive makeup from your parents spa is a lifealtering experience.
37: Getting your face peeled is also a lifealtering experience.
38: Sometimes, you just have to drive it out.
39: Panda Express is the answer, it doesn't really matter what the question is.
40: Mixes.
41: Pisser. Shocker. Flibbity Gibbit.
42: Never leave your best friend alone under a sandwich board with a guy who sees dead people.
43: There are very few things in life as valuable as walking with your favorite person in the world in the dead of night.
44: Friends that will lie to everyone to save your ass are hard to come by.
45: Semi to Moderately.
46: Getting your parents to let you go see Sweeney Todd may not be as easy as you think.
47: Sometimes, when you're having an awful 16th birthday, your best friend's mom will pick you up and take you to Emma at her play practice, so you can sit with her in the back and she can hold your hand.
48: fall is here. hear the yell. back to school. ring the bell. brand new shoes. walking blues. climb the fence. books and pens. i can tell that we are gonna be friends. yes, i can tell that we are gonna be friends. we don't notice any time pass. cause we don't notice anything. we sit side by side in every class. the teacher thinks that i sound funny, but she likes it when you sing.
49: Throw someones shoe out of the second floor window sometime. You'll like it.
50: Throw things in general, actually.
51: Make sugar cube castles.
52: Never go on a first date with a guy you hardly know when you're 15 unless Emma's there. And can call in her brother when it's awkward.
53: Sing. Always.
54: Write song quotes on every piece of paper that you come across.
55: That computer really doesn't fit on the counter in the kitchen, Emma's parents. Just a thought.
56: Boyles family game night is to be envied.
57: if you're gonna leave, well you better get going, 'cause i ain't wasting no more time on what i did and what i didn't.
58: Sometimes I can be awful.
59: There are very few things in life as comfortable as sitting on a recklessly expensive couch listening to Emma play the piano.
60: If Emma loves you, Emma will do anything for you.
61: Appreciate that.
62:Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the mormon culture in order to understand how judgemental you're being.
63: Once you're out, it's really hard to watch people tear your old best friend to pieces at your high school, even when you're not talking anymore.
64: Chicks before Dicks.
65: Church is kinda ridiculous with you around, kid. :)
66: goodbye my almost lover. goodbye my hopeless dream. i'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?
67: Just because she won't sing, doesn't mean she can't.
68: Some people are just too fantastic to fit inside a box.
69: You were never second best.
70: Strawberries with sugar is about as good as it gets.
71: Toast is also acceptable in large portions.
72: Sometimes the things you'll find when you're cleaning the storage room will scare you into obsessive compulsive disorder.
73: yes. there really are relationships where you're laughing all the time. for years. at. a. time.
74: but the part of those relationships that you don't see is when you're crying for nights at a time. over your best friend. when youre 16 years old. and nobody gets it. not even you.
75: I'm getting in to you, because you got to me in a way words can't describe. I'm getting into you because i've got to be. You're essential to survive, I'm gonna love you with my life.
76: Never underestimate the combined comedic power of tall and skinny plus short and stout. It works for us. People cry.
77: Yes, we do have a phone baby. Named Boylersen.
78: Some wounds will always bleed. I still double take everytime I hear your name.
79: No, people reading this who aren't Emma and our associates, we're not lesbians.
80: You can't be best friends with someone unless you have the same shoe size. Accept this as a fact.
81: Sometimes potential boyfriends pose such a threat that you legitimately feel like WWIII just broke out inside your head.
82: Swing.
83: I've got my things. I'm good to go. You met me at the terminal. Just one more plane ride and it's done. We stood like statues at the gate, vacations come and gone too late. There's so much sun where I'm from. I had to give it away...had to give you away. and we spent four days on an island at your families old hotel. sometimes perfection can be, can be perfect hell. Perfect.
84: Never leave a friendship broken on a hotel floor in California. It's a long drive to fix it up again.
85: Sometimes we get peoples names henna'd on our backs. it's fine.
86: Sometimes we also break into abandoned houses and walk around.
87: It is, on occasion, entirely physically possible to text/converse with someone who is sitting right next to you for hours at a time.
88: Never judge a book by its ridiculous plot line...oh wait. Jodie Picoult? :)
89: On bed in Emma's basement is specifically crunchier than the other
90: I can make a particularly pregnant stomach sometimes in hotel rooms in chico, CA. Just saying.
91: Snow cones. are always. a go.
92: "You said i know that this will hurt, but if i don't break your heart then things with just get worse, if the burden seems too much to bear, remember: the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."
93: Sneakily assembling a computer in your bedroom is harder than it sounds
94: Nobody is perfect. Sometimes we lie, sometimes we cheat, sometimes we break each others hearts. Sometimes we move past it, and sometimes it means the end.
95: Regardless, I will always love you.
96: Bitch, I don't know your LIFE!
97: Taking naps on the same bed after a mutually bad day comes standard. In reality, it's kinda neat.
98: Meet the wiffins.
99: When friends become family, you're in for a disaster when things get messy.
100: My kids will know your name.

In conclusion your honor, I'm sorry for the things that happened between us. Our friendship was one huge hilarious event, and some days I sincerely just wanna pick you up and listen to roadtrip songs in my car. You are a beautiful, tiny, hysterical human being, and you will always have a special room in my heart of hearts. A room with a tivo, and pictures of us on the wall, of course.
I can't believe how our lives have turned out. I can't believe you're going to be a mother in a month and a half, but know that I have no doubts that child will be loved beyond anyones understanding. Please know that I'm never out of your reach, and I only wish the best for you, because you are the best of the best.

I spent forever trying to select a song, but in the end we both knew which one it was going to be.

What Else Is There To Say?

I should be writing a paper for philosophy right now, but I can't get this song out of my head. That happens to me quite frequently, and it's not necessarily an exciting event, but the songs that come into my head and stay they are usually just reflections of the way that I feel at the moment. Lately my emotions have been a little bit overwhelmed. I don't remember the last time that I slept for more than 5 hours at a time. Between finals week and the hospital it's been really frustrating trying to find time for everything.
More than that, though, I miss my family.

It's really hard to be so far away from them, especially at this time of year, and the hardest part is not really knowing how long it's gonna be til the next time that I get to come home. I wish I could play the piano by the christmas tree at night the way that I did last year. Haha me and valerie are so broke that we have a lil christmas tree sticker on our window. That's our decorations.
This has always been the song that I turn to when I'm feeling kinda alone. Angie Snider actually introduced it to me a couple years ago (I'm in your debt, again). But there's something raw about the line "I love you. And I miss you. What else is there to say?" Because there isn't anything else to say. That covers it.
The other reason that this song is particularly important right now has to do with a friend of mine. Everyone has specific times in their life that are epic and complex. Some labrynths don't appear to have an exit. The good news is that they always do, even if you have to dig your way out or call in the life-flight.
But I feel like I'm watching you break infront of me. I sincerely don't know what to do.
Needless to say, no one can walk through a hard time having nothing but a smile on their face and a cookie in their hand. Sometimes you have to listen to sad music. Sometimes you have to turn off your phone and sleep for 14 hours. What I'm trying to say is that it's okay. Have a bad day. Have sixty bad days. But remember that people are there to support you even if you don't see them. And wake up one morning, and move on.
I'm doing the only thing I can think of for you. I'm giving you the music that pulls me out of the water.

And kid?

I love you. And I miss you. What else is there to say?

Is this the sound of our demise?
Or is it just the opposite?
I love you and I miss you
What else is there to say?

It takes a hell of a lot more to complete this
Far more, far more to recreate
Far more, far more, far more, far more
Far more, far more than we can take

When you decide how much time
Do you let, do you let, do you let, do you let
Pass before
These false starts, these small meals
They're for my, for my starving hands
Just treading, just treading shallow waters
Avoiding the drop, the drop in the ocean floor

Far more, far more, far more, far more
Far more, far more than we possess
How much, how much, how much
How much longer, girl
How much longer do we need to wait?

For a moment when the blare of the TV subsides
And that song fills the air, replaying every night
A change in the key feels like a change in the season
I pretend almost every, every other night
That this body and its entirety belongs to me, every breath
It comes and goes
It comes and goes
All night

Well, you can't dictate the way, the way I'm gonna feel
No matter what, no matter what I'm forced to see
I'll be the one free of jealousy

Well, you can't dictate the way, the way I'm gonna feel
No matter what, no matter what I'm forced to see
I'll be the one free of jealousy

Far more, far more, far more, far more
Far more, far more than we can take
So well, so well, so well rehearsed
I coordinate this kind of mess

I'll do it like, do it like, do it like
Do it like, do it like, do it like
Do it like, do it like, do it like we used to
Like we used to do

I love you and I miss you
What else is there to say?

Patrick Monahan's Girl

"Drops of Jupiter" came out when I was 9 years old. I remember being in the car with  my dad at night the first time that I heard it. I loved that song from the very beginning, and the love only grew as I got older. By the time I sas 12, I had made it my ultimate goal in life to be the kind of girl that Patrick Monahan wrote songs about.

This Girl:

She doesn't own a dress
Her hair is always a mess,
You catch her stealin' she won't confess
She's Beautiful.

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's room to grow


The way you can cut a rug
Watching you is the only drug I need
So gangster, I'm so thug
You're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see I can be myself now finally
In fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you'll be with me

She never compromisesloves babies and surprises

wears high heels when she exercises.
ain't that beautiful?
Meet Virginia

She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change,
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june


She only drinks coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
Her timing is quite, unusual
You see her confidence is tragic, but her
Intuition, magic. And the shape of her body?
Unusual

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

When everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it
I'm not in it to win it
I'm in it for you

it's a beautiful world, and we're all here.

Today, as I was tirelessly researching my english essay on the anasazi, I stumbled upon the pictures of the year that are being presented by national geographic, and something hit me. I mean I've been raised by the right kind of family, we spent a lot of time outside when I was younger. I'm not afraid of mountains or gorges, infact I think the general idea of the wilderness is pretty damn neat.
I feel like I'm bombarded at least three times a day by someone telling me what a terrible, corrupted, broken world that we live in. It's easy to see why we could believe that, what with all the wars, murders, rapes, generalized shanking, etc, that's going on these days. That being said, I still firmly disagree. The world is a beautiful place. It will remain a beautiful place until the last flower dies, and I hope I'm dead a long time before that happens.
So here are some pictures of the beautiful world. Unedited, natural, pictures. If you look at these and dont think it's a beautiful world, get off my blog. haha.
This is "beautiful world" written by jim brickman and sung by adam crossley. They used to play it at JCW's all the time, and it was fantastic. I love this song.

Beautiful World

Strawberry lips shining in the summer sun

Canary-tips glowing there for everyone

You fell asleep under the cherry tree

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world we're all here

Your winter skin warming in the summer sun

We know within you will stay forever young

You fell asleep under the starlit sea

It's time to wake up

The moon is high above you

We're all here 'cause we love you

And when you finally open your eyes and ears

You'll see and you'll hear us sing

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world we're all here

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world we're all here

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world

It's a beautiful world

You fell asleep under the starlit sea

It's time to wake up

The moon is high above you

We're all here 'cause we love you

And when you finally open your eyes and ears

You'll see and you'll hear us sing

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world we're all here

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world we're all here

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world we're all here

La La La La La

It's a beautiful world

a lot can happen in five years.

Hello, world.
I am neurotic planner. I felt as if that should be thrown out in the open, although I'm certain that anybody who has spent more than an hour with me since I was 12 could tell you that all by themselves.
For some reason, I feel like if I don't have everything set in stone now, it's never going to happen. I like to know what I'm wearing the next day before I go to bed, my calendar is probably the most intricate thing you've ever seen in your life, I can't sleep if there are dishes in the sink, etc.
The problem with this is that I find myself getting more and more irritated about the parts of my life I can't plan. When am I going to get married? Who will I marry? When am I gonna die? (PS, you know that survey that tells you that when people were asked if they could know exactly what day and time they were going to die, 98% said no? Say hello to the other 2%, her name is mccall).
I'm such a micro-organizer, I get frustrated by even the tiniest things in my life that are out of my control. I think I'd be a terrible god, because I'd make all my children stand in lines from shortest to tallest, boys one one side, girls on the other, hand them weeee little schedules for the rest of their lives, and then make sure they did everything I told them to in a timely fashion. Mrs. Vontrapp? Yes, that's me.
However, I realized something last night. We're all okay. At the end of the day, we're not in charge. HE is, and if we let jesus take the wheel (so to speak) everything will be alright.
Five Years Time is perhaps the most fantastic way to describe the act of loving someone with all your heart in the most beautiful way. Today. You might not like eachother tomorrow. You might end up married with a car full of kids who's names all start with the same letter (a small car, in my case, please). But the point is, you have to take every day for what it is, and regardless of the outcome, you'll make it, and you'll be the better for the struggles that you went through to get where you are.
People live separate lives. If my mom and dad were together every second of everyday, they'd kill eachother. There's a line from an augustana song that I like that says
"two spinning spheres, we spin together, and we spin alone."
because nobody is going to be in sync with you every moment for the rest of your natural lives. You have to work, and fight, and run out, and run back in. You have to apologize, beg for forgiveness, sleep in separate beds, break up, move on, find someone else. That's life.
Sometimes you have accept your stupid past, the reckless things that you did, and enjoy the person that you are today, and the people helped you grow along the way.
Take what you have today, and enjoy it, and build on it, and if it's supposed to last?
It will.

five years time
Oh well in five years time we could be walking round a zoo
With the sun shining down over me and you
And there'll be love in the bodies of the elephants too
And I'll put my hands over your eyes,
but you'll peekthrough
And there'll be sun sun sun
All over our bodies
And sun sun sun
All down our necks
And sun sun sun
All over our faces
And sun sun sun
So what the heck

'Cause I'll be laughing at all your silly little jokes
And we'll be laughing about how we used to smoke
All those stupid little cigarettes
And drink stupid wine
'Cause it's what we needed to have a good time

And it was fun fun fun
When we were drinking
It was fun fun fun
When we were drunk
And it was fun fun fun
When we were laughing
It was fun fun fun
Oh it was fun

Oh well I look at you and say
It's the happiest that I've ever been
And I'll say I no longer feel I have to be James Dean
And she'll say
Yah well I feel all pretty happy too
And I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kicking back with you

And it'll be
Love love love
All through our bodies
And love love love
All through our minds
And it be Love love love
All over her face
And Love love love
All over mine

Although maybe all these moments are just in my head
I'll be thinking ‘bout them as I'm lying in bed
And I know immediately that it might not even come true
But in my mind I'm havin' a pretty good time with you

Oh
Five years time
I might not know you
Five years time
We might not speak
Oh
In five years time
We might not get along
In five years time
You might just prove me wrong

Oh there'll be love love love
Wherever you go
There'll be love love love
Wherever you go
Wherever you go there'll be love

I need to find a way of letting it go.

One of the single most frustrating things we all deal with on a daily basis is figuring out what we need. and even then more than half of the time, we're wrong anyway. It's pathetic.
In the recent past, I've really come to terms with the fact that we are entirely in charge of our own existance. No one can tell you how to feel, how to respond, or how to move on from a situation that tests your ability to bounce back.

My newest philosophy is simply this: your attitude = your responsibility.

Now, I'm not saying that because I don't have emotional meltdowns. On the contrary, I spent the vast majority of this weekend soaking the shoulders of my friends stefanie, lauren, and valerie. However, the real magic comes from waking up the next morning and moving on. Sometimes change is necessary; infact, change is always necessary. It's the reason why we're here. Some days you have to wake up, break out a peice of paper, and rewrite your entire life plan.
When writing your plans, at all, I firmly suggest using a pencil, not a pen. Things will change, and erasers look much more classy than scribbled out dark spots.
Anyway, today is about "Phoenix Burn" by Alpha Rev. I couldn't throw a song at you that better described my feelings at the moment. Because I'm ready. To change directions, start over, and come to terms with what it is that I need. Not what I'm going to need or what I used to need, but what I need right now, today. Because today is all that matters. We might be dead tomorrow. Yesterday is over. It's all about today. and i like how today sounds.






I need love that will release me
keep me honest, keep me happy
I need a peace with understanding
Trying to find a softer landing

I wanna know when I can change this
Or give it up and just embrace it
I need to find a way of letting it go
When everything falls apart

I've taken too much, given up
I am twisted, burnin, breaking up
I need to find a way of letting it go
When everything falls apart
I could try, but I'd never take it
Yell and I will never be heard
You will be my phoenix burn
I could run, but I'd never reach it
Leave but I might never return
You will be my phoenix burn

I wanna push through the undiscovered
Find my answers, leave them uncovered
I wanna speak out what I believe in
♥That love will heal us, give us our freedom♥
I wanna see what's on the horizon
Change directions, stop the fightin
I need to find a way of letting it go
When everything falls apart

I am twisted, burnin, breaking up
I need to find a way of letting it go
When everything falls apart
I could try, but I'd never take it
Yell and I will never be heard
You will be my phoenix burn
I could run, but I'd never reach it
Leave but I might never return
You will be my phoenix burn

Let me burn

I've taken too much, given up
I am twisted, burnin, breaking up
I need to find a way of letting it go
When everything falls apart
I could try, but I'd never take it
Yell and I will never be heard
You will be my phoenix burn
I could run, but I'd never reach it
Leave but I might never return
You will be my phoenix burn